Dear S&H,

My boyfriend and I decided to go on a break, but now I hear he's seeing other people. We never agreed to this, but he says it's his right. Obviously I'm not okay with this but his friends are backing him up, saying that a break is a break and he needs to make sure I'm the one. That sounds kind of insulting, right? My girlfriends agree with me but I'm not sure if it's because they're girls or my friends..I need some unbiased advice. Is it right to date others while on a break or not? 

Please post this on your site. Thanks! 

Here's our two cents: 

First of all, we think the major problem here is that you did not set the proper guidelines for the break prior to taking it. A break is a very serious thing. A couple who decides to go on a break should use it as a tool to either gain some space, and therefore perspective about their relationship, or distance so they can reassess their problems. Often a couple can get cabin fever, and a trial break is often exactly what the doctor ordered so that they can learn to value each other. However, the dark side of a break, is that it can often be used as the coward's way out of a break up. We don't know who decided on the break, but It sounds to us like your boyfriend is either using the break as a technique to gradually phase out of the relationship, instead of outright ending it. Another scenario is that your boyfriend is either using this as an excuse to be unfaithful, or he simply was not clear on the criteria of the break up. We believe you should both have a long talk about what his actions mean to the relationship as a whole.

Good luck! 

Now we leave you to our readers. Go on, help a sister out!